Seeking, er, Duly Diligent Consideration Tactics

I am rerunning Toles’ Emergency Procedures cartoon, because Byron Smith has added a ninth step. I’d like to offer a prize to someone who can provide a step 10 strong enough to stand with Byron’s step 9, but I can’t afford it and I can’t afford the lawyers to figure out how to do it if I could.

So I am handing out traditional, old fashioned pulp-publishing no-prizes instead. Only In It for the Gold no-prizes are hereby titled No Gold Medals, and Byron surely gets one for his (slightly edited)

9. Consider that fire may actually reduce the building’s heating bill. Commission study by think tank to investigate.

Another No Gold Medal to he-who or she-who comes up with point 10.

Update: Tony Lee got an LOL out of me with 10. Maintain that those involved in fire detection cannot be involved in firefighting policy. If they insist on getting mixed up in firefighting policy, we get to ignore everything they say.

That said, probably the best punch line in keeping with Toles’ original cartoon and audience is oquantril’s 10. Under no circumstance sound an alarm. This would be alarmist.

No Gold Medals are being prepared for both contributors as I write! Many thanks to all contributors.


  1. A little late to the party, but:10. Point out that it would be very expensive to put out the fire with today's technologies. Assert that it will be more economical to wait to put out the fire until the very inexpensive, technologically wonderful solutions produced by the free market become available Any Day Now…

  2. Start a "blogospheric experiment" bemoaning the lack of dialogue with people who have never seen a fire and think it's just a trick of the light, or brightly colored paper flapping in the breeze.

  3. Well, paraphrasing the usual talking points is rather boring, so I'll try something different:10. PROFIT!!!!!!(I don't think there are that many prominent climate inactivists out there who do their inactivist work without thinking about the all-important problem of How To Make Money From It.)

  4. 10. Point out that given that we haven't managed to put the fire out yet, we should give up on extinguishing it and focus solely on fireproofing nearby valuables.Well, actually, this is perhaps more a step 20 than a step 10, but it's certainly in there somewhere.

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